Anticipation

Facebook ads have started to lure me with my age. "Are you 29 or over?" one asks, suggesting that 29 years old is the ideal age to begin a new career in nursing. Or there's the "UGG Boots: Age 29" ad that on first glance makes me think that UGG has started a new line of boots for 29-year-old women, and then tells me that I can get a free pair of UGGs just for being 29. Which I doubt. 29 is not really all that special.

I think it's funny that these ads began appearing within so close to my birthday. It's as though the advertisers are taking advantage of my inevitable pending-birthday age awareness. I won't be 29 much longer, after all, and if there's so much good stuff out there on the internet for 29-year-olds, I had better act fast and click through. I'll bet 30-year-olds don't get so many great internet opportunities.

I have to admit that with birthday #30 looming, I am feeling a bit age aware. I don't mean this in the sense of feeling old, or feeling my age. Rather, if someone were to ask me how I old I am, I wouldn't have to stop and think (as has often been the case as the years pile on). I would immediately say, "29, almost 30." Or probably just "30. Almost." 30's a big year and it's hard not to let the number occupy a significant portion of my life's event horizon.

I've been thinking a lot about how to celebrate my 30th birthday. I am anticipating that this one might be a bit rocky. Anyone who has been there knows that 30 is exciting, but also a little unnerving. So while I always plan to enjoy all of my birthdays, I have been planning to enjoy this one a little more than usual. Of course, I also worry that I might be setting myself up for disappointment. If I plan on 30 being a really fantastic birthday and it turns out to be just pretty nice, I might feel a bit let down. Whereas if I plan for it to be absolutely awful and it turns out to be pretty nice, I'll feel positive overall.

But I like being optimistic. I'm sticking with my "really fantastic" birthday anticipation and I will just expect that if I want a really fantastic birthday, the universe will conspire to make it happen. Or at the very least, my psyche will conspire to make me feel like even the little mundane things are, in fact, really fantastic by virtue of their happening on my birthday.

When the actual day comes (February 10! mark your calendars!), I fully expect my family and friends to shower me with happy birthdays and positive thoughts from afar (as always, I try to do the same for your birthdays as well). But I'm also thinking about what I can do to make the day a good one for myself. February 10 is a Wednesday and is therefore going to be full of dissertation-writing and teaching, and I can't really take time off of either of them. I'll celebrate for real on the weekend (with the help of my little sister who is the first family member to brave a Michigan winter visit). But I do want to make the actual day feel like a little more than just another day.

Any ideas?