Which started me thinking, not about the surreality (that's a real word!) of the experiment, but about the unpleasant topic of tickling. Which I personally have long thought a strange and horrible human practice that somehow, bafflingly, gets perpetuated from generation to generation. I started shuddering just thinking about it, and then I couldn't stop thinking about it, and so in order to stop shuddering I had to get my thoughts out to the world, and urge every parent or grandparent or future parent or future grandparent who reads this blog to put an end to childhood torture. For the sake of my future children, and their children, and their children's children.
The problem with tickling is that adults just don't think they're doing anything particularly inhumane. It's just something you do to kids, to make them laugh, and adults like to make children laugh because it's slightly easier and more relaxing than making their adult friends laugh, and it feels good when someone laughs at something you do (at least it is if you do it on purpose to make them laugh). But that means tickling is entirely selfish. Adults do it because it makes them happy, not because it makes their children happy, and the curse of tickling is that even as the child is writhing in agony and wishing for it to stop, the natural human biological reaction to tickling is laughter (Leuba's experiment seemed to prove this), and adults read child laughter to mean, "I like this! Please don't stop!" So not only do adults get pleasure out of the practice, they mistakenly assume their child is enjoying it.
It's a horrible, tragic communication issue. But it doesn't have to be. No adult I know actually likes being tickled, and we never actually do it to each other, except to be mean. Normally we try to shield our children from unpleasant experiences, and I'm not quite sure why this is the socially acceptable exception.
I am very passionate about this subject. I think, as a cause, it ranks right up there with educating the masses for tomorrow's mathematical future and ridding the planet of plastic bags.
You have to find things worth fighting for in this life.
6 comments:
Interesting post ... I think tickling adults can be termed "selfish", but my 4 year old son begs us to tickle him. He requests to be tickled so much that it almost dampens the amusement John and I experience. So far, Brayden is the only kid I know who WANTS and LIKES to be tickled. I guess he's the exception ... We LOVE that kid!
Ouch! I guess we all have different views of things. That's what makes the world so interesting. My childhood memories (and I was a child and actually do remember that part of my life) are not of torture at all but of rollicking good times rolling on the floor with my Dad knowing that he cared about me. I'm sure there may have been times when the tickling went a little longer than was comfortable but perhaps that could be said about a lot of things. In the end my memories are not of torture just good times. Wait until I catch you with barefeet!!
Um...you were the worst about tickling. You ALWAYS tickled me and sometimes you still do! So how can you truly fight for this cause if you don't do what you say?
When I was a kid my Dad's friend Clyde used to love to tickle me all the time and I would become VIOLENTLY UPSET. VOCANICALLY UPSET. I totally agree with your analysis of the psychology behind tickling.
I am guessing you are not a fan of the tickle me Elmo.
Alan and I were visiting his family over Christmas, and I have to agree that sometimes kids beg to be tickled. His niece kept begging me to tickle her "with the spider hands" over and over again. I was the one trying to talk her out of it--"Are you sure you wouldn't rather play another game?" But no... tickling was what she wanted.
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