Back to School

Today life went back to the craziness that is normal for grad school (and actually probably for life in general). I've enjoyed my summer. I always do. In fact (and I think I may have mentioned this before) at the beginning of every summer I think, last summer was such a great summer that this summer cannot possibly live up! And then somehow it always does, or even exceeds the previous summer. This summer has not been an exception. I've done a lot of fun things (and blogged about many of them), and have been able to mentally prepare myself for the upcoming school year. And while I'm sad to leave behind the warm weather and barbecues and weekend trips and time to sit and read, I also think I am ready. I was beginning to feel a little nervous about starting things up again yesterday, but this morning when my alarm went off bright and early and I got right up instead of letting myself lay in bed awhile longer (like I did much of the summer), I actually felt excited.

Don't get me wrong. I also had several moments today where I felt overwhelmed by everything I have to do this week. But I like the idea of having things to do again, and having lots to accomplish, and having to figure out how to best use my time. I'm sort of excited to budget the hours in my day and schedule work time and cut myself off from the internet for large chunks of time and devote my focus entirely to my work...and then to come home in the evenings and feel like I've paid in my dues and can read a book or play with my dog or spend time with friends. I'm never perfect at balancing my schedule like this, but I do like the challenge of it. I think it's good practice for life in general.

Today was the first day of classes. I had one class to teach today - the other is tomorrow, as well as the class that I am a teaching assistant for. This class today is the class I have never taught before. Again, I was feeling nervous yesterday, but excited this morning. It went all right - I think it could have gone better, which I expected because this is my very first time through this material and it's hard to know immediately how it's going to play out. But I still think it went reasonably well, and I'm looking forward to the class not just for the paycheck (though I'm really looking forward to that paycheck in October...), but for the experience as well. I love that I have found something I really enjoy doing like this, and there are times that I wish I could give all my time to being a teacher and thinking in practical terms about the problems and challenges of education, but I keep trusting that my own education will give me, if not tools, then at least credentials and experiences that will be valuable for the day when I can do something that feels useful with my life.

And even now I'm feeling pretty good about my own education. My dissertation research is in the very earliest stages, but I'm actually excited about what I might learn from it. Basically I am going to get to talk to people who do the same thing I do, learn about (and hopefully from) their experiences. There's plenty of work to go along with that, but I'm also looking forward just to getting to talk to a lot of different people in a lot of different settings who share a common goal with me.

So I think I'm feeling optimistic about the school year, and I think it might be the first year since I came here that I have felt this optimistic. It's going to be busy and it's going to be challenging and it's probably going to have its fair share of stress, but I think it will be worth it and I'm up to the challenge.

(School started for Jin today, too - Brian stopped by on his way home and gave Jin his first real fetching lesson. By the end he'd passed Lesson 1: Running After Ball, though it took a great deal of encouragement, and he's still working on Lesson 2: Stopping When Ball Stops, and failed miserably on Lesson 3: Putting Ball In Mouth. That's okay, the first day of school is a little rough for everyone.)