In the Christmas Spirit

On Friday night I was in a really good mood. The stake puts on a creche exhibit at the Green Road chapel down the street from me every year, and a couple girls in my ward had asked me to accompany them for their musical numbers at the Friday night concert there. The exhibit itself is pretty amazing, and it draws a lot of people not just from the stake but from the community. I didn't get much chance to look around on Friday night because I was there for the concert, but a couple friends have expressed an interest in going, and so I'll head back there this afternoon with anyone who wants to come along.

Anyway, I saw a couple familiar faces from the temple (I've been taking off a couple months for time reasons before I switch to a once-a-month schedule at the new year), and the music program was quite nice, and everyone there was just so genuinely happy that I couldn't help but walk away feeling good about life.

And I guess life is good. School is still rolling along smoothly, and I'm still enjoying my research project (going on two months now - this is amazing). I have a nice little network of friends here, and feel very at home in my ward. I am completely injury-free and able to run as much as I'd like, and have lots of good music on my iPod to listen to on the treadmill during these winter months. I am not particularly enjoying our recent turn in the weather, but I don't dread the winter as much now that I've survived two of them. I have a wonderful family, who I will see in just over two weeks. I have a nice, big, warm, Christmas-decorated apartment. I got a paycheck on Friday. I have a piano and plenty of Christmas music to play on it. My car is sitting under a covered parking space (which means I don't have to scrape ice!). My bathroom is clean and my floor is vacuumed. I had a horrendous school week where I thought it was physically impossible for me to get everything done, and yet I got it done with time to spare. I talked to my sister on my way to Target. I have new socks. I am teaching a math class next semester. I have ingredients to make soup tonight. My roommate and I hosted a successful Christmas party last night. I have Sunday morning free today.

There are a lot of uncertainties in life, and I think it's easy to get caught up in the uncertainties and focus on what's lacking in life. But when you allow yourself time to think about it, there's usually something that's going right. In fact, there are usually a lot of things that are going right. I've written about the Happy Board before - the poster my college roommates and I hung in our living room, on which we were "required" to write at least one thing that had made us happy every day. After those roommates and I parted ways and the Happy Board became a thing of memory only, I tried keeping a little "happy journal" for awhile. At the end of the day, I would write down everything I could think of that had made me happy, and sometimes I was amazed at how many things I was able to think of - from big things, like being there for a friend in need, or being considered for the Presidential Fellowship at the University of Georgia, to smaller things like sesame green beans or singing "Psalm 150" in University Chorale.

I loved keeping that journal partly because it made me realize the good in my life, and partly because it was a lot easier than keeping a regular journal, something I love doing but that takes time, and doesn't happen often enough. With the Happy Journal, all I had to do was write a few bullet points right before I went to bed. And I've found something interesting about reading back on my journals, too. With my regular journal, I get a lot of insights about things I've thought about before, impressions I've had, experiences that have been meaningful to me, ways I've felt. But I don't get much in the way of my day-to-day existence. But reading back on my happy journal, I am taken right back to my life at the time I wrote. I don't know how well it will serve posterity (many of the bullets would seem cryptic to anyone but myself). But when I read entries like "working on the pentagon problem and finally making progress," or "Matt and Andy talking about their trip to the new JFSB," or "Pines of Rome (third movement)," or "homemade limeade with mint (and a song!) from kids on the corner," I'm treated with a flood of memories of the little things I had almost forgotten about.

Because it's the little things that my real journal misses. I might record that I had a good meeting with my advisor, or that I am frustrated with my calling, or that I really like this boy but I don't know how to get to know him better, or that I had a great time in Hawaii, or that I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to go to Michigan but it's so cold there! But I don't necessarily record that I loved the way the leaves crunched under my feet while I went running, or that I sat outside and soaked up the spring sun while I did my reading for class, or that a smile from someone I passed on the sidewalk completely brightened my day. But in a way it's those little day-to-day things, more than the grand narrative, that really make up my life.

Hmm. I think I want to start keeping my happy journal again.