Tuesday, May 17, 2005

All Is Well

Things are good right now. I'll admit I've been a little bit up and down. I've had some moments where I've felt pretty inexplicably crummy, but it's never been anything that I didn't know would go away after a good night's rest, and it's quite possible that part of it is that I have drastically decreased my running in preparation for my marathon and my body is missing its morning endorphins. I really have very little reason to feel crummy, and for the most part I have actually felt pretty good.

My thesis is going along great. I spent nearly five solid hours working on it yesterday - I have a shorter attention span that most people think, and that's a record for me. I am writing now. I used to hate writing in high school, unless it was something creative (my class notebooks were filled with the beginnings, and occasionally the middles, of counltess unfinished stories, and sometimes I wish I'd held onto more than a handful of them). But now that what I am writing for school actually means something more than a grade, I kind of enjoy the challenge. There's so much to think about, from the overall organization of this entire production, down to how to phrase one particular idea, and everything in between. It's frustrating, but sort of fun.

My running is stagnant, but only because I'm on my taper week. I ran about four miles yesterday, not at all today, and will run three or four tomorrow and just a mile or two on Friday. It feels so strange since, other than my almost-weekly run with my married friend who doesn't run as much as I do, every run I've done has been at least six miles, and lately closer to seven or eight (not to mention the much longer runs on the weekends). Four miles seems like nothing. It's sort of nice, actually, but I'm looking forward to being able to get back to running without worrying about the 26.2-miler looming in the future.

The marathon is on Saturday. My parents are coming up on Friday morning and I will meet them up north at my Grandma's house. I've been complaining about my recent lack of social activity, and to my dismay this weekend could have been one of the fullest weekends on my calendar - I will be missing out on social events on Friday night, Saturday morning, Saturday night, and even Sunday morning when my ward choir is meeting for breakfast and then making the trek to Salt Lake to see Music and the Spoken Word. Oh well - I'm looking forward to spending time with my family, and of course to the marathon (actually, to finishing the marathon...I'm trying not to think about running the marathon itself). I've been working towards this for so long that it doesn't seem quite real that I'm running it.

Preparations for my end-of-the-summer move are falling into place. I already have a place to live and a roommate who I know well enough to know that I can live with her without problem. And I didn't even have to do anything. Ever. Except say, "yes, that sounds like a good apartment - let's go for it." It's nice to have that taken care of.

I have decided not to cut my hair. After my hair-cutting post I had a string of good hair days. I didn't put my hair up wet, or even up dry in a ponytail, for several days in a row and it didn't bother me or get in my way and I decided I actually still enjoy having long hair and can't possibly imagine that it would look good cut to shoulder-length. I've had it there before and I hated it. What was I thinking? My hair does not cooperate at shoulder-length, even less than it cooperates at the length it's at right now. I could chop it much, much shorter and it would look good (I've done that before, several times), but I'm not ready to go that far. So long it is, for now anyway.

The weather is finally warm. I loved it that even when storm clouds rolled in last night and the wind picked up, I was still able to walk home from campus in short sleeves. I walked to school in a downpour this morning, and there was a huge patch of blue sky ahead of me so that with my umbrella above my head I could not see a single cloud. If I turned just a little to the left, though, the clouds were amazing - huge, billowing black clouds against huge, billowing white clouds, all just a little bit purplish and accented with pink, against bright blue sky and summer-green trees. That made me happy.

So that's all. Life is confusing as usual (and I think I tend to make it confusing for myself), but it's good. I've had my down moments, but overall I am happy. There is so much to do, and part of me actually wants to do it. What a great feeling :)

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