Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Saving the World One FHE Group at a Time

I got a phone call on Sunday morning from our ward executive secretary.

“Hey, Leibniz*,” he said, and then made small talk for about three seconds before telling me, “Brother B. [the first counselor in our bishopric] wants to see you right away. When can you be here?”

I glanced at my watch and, since I was already dressed for church, calculated how much time it would take me to get from my house to our Bishop’s office. “Um, ten minutes?”

And I took off almost immediately, pausing only long enough to tell my roommate where I was going. I knew I was about to get a calling, and this surprised me a little. I was already serving in the Relief Society, and I knew there were several members of the ward who did not have callings yet. But I was pretty sure I knew what Brother B. would say when I met with him. Our ward had not had an officially-called ward pianist or choir pianist since last summer, and I had been helping out unofficially in both those positions for the last five months. Word was out, however, that with a new music committee in place the problem was going to be remedied soon. I was just about to become official, and I was okay with that because I always love music callings.

Meanwhile, back at my apartment, my roommates had clustered together downstairs to get ready for church and to discuss my fate. Even before I made it to the Bishop’s office, they had managed to put two and two together. The ward was reorganizing FHE leadership, our group had lost our parents at the end of last semester and hadn’t even met since about the first week in December, and Brother B. was the one in charge of Family Home Evening. It was pretty clear what I was about to be asked.

Clear to them, that is. Family Home Evening had never even crossed my mind. So when I sat down with Brother B., the words that came out of his mouth were not the words that I had expected to hear. I was surprised, but of course I accepted the calling.

“Oh, poor Leibniz!” my roommates were saying at that moment. But truth be told, I was actually quite thrilled to be called as an FHE group leader. I have never been a “mom,” in all my years at BYU, in all my FHE groups (and I’ve been in many), and it’s one of those callings that I have secretly coveted, almost since freshman year. I think this would come as a surprise to most people who know me, but the longer I attend BYU and participate in Family Home Evening groups, the more appealing the idea has been…oddly enough.

Actually, I think I know why the calling has become even more appealing over time. I have seen all sorts of FHE groups, some of which work, many of which don’t. I have stopped attending FHE for various reasons at various times, and have recommitted myself over and over again as I re-prioritize my time and decide what is really most important (not necessarily FHE, but other things that go along with it).

And because I have observed so much, I have sort of a save-the-world attitude, an attitude that carries over from other areas in my life as well. When I see things that are problematic, I just want to change them. That’s one of the reasons I want to teach eventually (after I make it through years and years of graduate school), one of the reasons I want to be a mother, one of the reasons I’m excited about marriage, one of the reasons I love to participate in leadership positions when I have the opportunity. It’s not that I think other people are doing poorly and that I can do better. It’s more that I look at imperfect institutions (as they all are) and wonder, “Could I change that?” It’s a challenge, and it’s a challenge that involves other people which makes it a meaningful challenge, much more meaningful than most of the things that I am doing now as a college student, like homework and projects and trying to practice the piano and the organ every once in awhile.

And family home evening is something I’ve participated in for so long that I have seen a lot of difficulties, and I want to have a good FHE group, a group where we can be comfortable with each other, where we can even be friends, where people can come and take a break from schoolwork and have fun, and be done in an hour. I began developing a vision for my group as I started walking home (and to the meeting for group leaders ten minutes later…that’s why it was so urgent that I come), and I was thrilled to find that my fellow group-leader was just as enthusiastic.

So now I’m off to go create the FHE group I’ve never had.

And if you have any suggestions, send them my way because I’ve never done this before!



*No one in this story actually calls me Leibniz—it’s just too much work to write [Leibniz’s real name] every time. Though not nearly as much work as it took to make this footnote…

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Wow, I should be doing homework, but instead I'm getting obsessed with a bunch of people's who I've never met lives'. Anyway, Leibniz, I know how you feel, I got a similiar call. You know when you get that...itchy feeling and you know something big is going to happen but you tell yourself that it's not going to happen because you don't want to be prideful. Well, that's what I got. Then it happened...I wonder if I could be more ambigious. So, I congradulate you on your newfound Parenthood.

Etelmik said...

Leibniz, that calling scares me to death. Would literally do so if I got it.

In other news, I am going to get called as Sunday school teacher for the third time and it will be my fourth Sunday school calling since I've been off the mission. Wow.

Amy said...

Wow - that's a lot of time in one calling. That's a great calling, though. I have had lots of not-so-great experiences in Sunday School, and a good teacher can make a huge difference.

erin said...

I've been an FHE "mom" before. Basically the easiest thing to do is delegate assignments to each apartment/house/individuals (however your ward is divided up) every week. Someone does the treat, someone else does the activity, someone else does the lesson. Meeting at the same place and same time is always helpful too.

My roommate is our current FHE mom. She hates it this semester. This is my third time playing the piano in Relief Society (summer term, fall semester, and now), and I still hate it. I told her we should switch callings. She was all for it, even though she doesn't play the piano...

Soren said...

As far as callings go, I think the calling is perfectly obvious to everyone except the person who's about to get it. And if not, then it's perfectly obvious to everyone except the person who's supposed to be extending it.

Case in point #1: my roommate got the dreaded phone call on Sunday night. Last night, he gets home from the bishop's office and I immediately say, "Let me guess: Sunday School teacher."

"How did you know?"

"It was perfectly obvious."

"Yeah, to everyone but me."

Case in point #2: It surprised nobody in my home ward when my dad was called as a bishop. The only person it really did surprise was our stake president, who was planning to call someone else all along, until the Lord basically had to step in with the Still Small Sledgehammer and get the stake pres. to change his mind.

Well, good luck with the FHE calling.

Anonymous said...

I was once an FHE mom too. I had a great FHE tonight with my real family. Here's some of my common sensical, but still valid, advice.
1. Plan ahead. I know it's obvious, but it's really important. Don't call your group members an hour before you're gonna start FHE. Don't just play games every week.
2. Always have a lesson, even if it's just a short thought. But full blown lessons can be great, especially when they turn into discussions. Or even better, plan to have a discussion, and have everyone bring scriptures or thoughts on a specific discussion topic to share with the group.
3. Share testimonies. Bearing testimonies doesn't have to be once a month. I'll admit, I've never experienced this in a single's ward FHE group. It might be kind of hard to get people to open up, but I know it's been a powerful experience in my personal family. It really brings you closer together.